Fiction Come Fact
by CherryWolf-chan
Summary: "Hermione, I'm really curious to know what Muggle parents tell their children at bedtime. I still can't get over the fact that you'd never heard The Tales of Beedle the Bard." "You've never heard of what! What kind of childhood did you have!" "Well we have plenty of Muggle fairy tales to keep children occupied." "Really; do you mind telling us some Granger?"


**AN: I was looking through some of my favourite fairy tales with Wolf Blossom when I was struck by this idea. Speaking of the wench, she is forever whining about my extensive paragraph sizes. So henceforth I am trying to cut up my paragraphs as much as possible. Hopefully one day I get around to cutting up the one in ALTTTBOB. Yes, that one. Whoever's read it knows exactly what I mean. Anyway, hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except a very large student debt.**

**Pages: 4**

**Words: 1 619**

It was the beginning of the eighth year, and having defeated Voldemort the year before everyone was long overdue for some peace.

Professor Dumbledore's idea of peace involved sitting students of different houses together all over the place. He'd completely gotten rid of the house tables.

And that was how Draco Malfoy found himself at a table with Harry Potter, Ronald Weasley, Hermione Granger, Luna Lovegood, Blaise Zabini and Theodore Nott.

Don't get him wrong. He'd fought for the light, and he had nothing personal against Muggleborns. But damn if the Golden Trio wasn't the most annoying bunch he'd ever met in his life.

He sighed in annoyance as Weasley's voice broke through his thoughts.

"Hermione, I'm really curious to know what Muggle parents tell their children at bedtime. I still can't get over the fact that you'd never heard The Tales of Beedle the Bard."

Draco heard Theo choke on his pumpkin juice to his left. "You've never heard of _what_?! What kind of childhood did you have?!"

Draco rolled his eyes. "Well not all of us liked being read to right up until we entered Hogwarts Nott."

Theo scowled. "Piss off Malfoy."

Hermione shook her head. "Well we have plenty of Muggle fairy tales to keep children occupied."

Theo looked at her curiously. "Really; do you mind telling us some Granger?"

Blaise smirked this time. "You just miss being read stories Theo; admit it!"

Draco snorted as Theo glared at both of them.

Hermione shrugged her shoulders as she looked between the three of them. "Sure, why not? Which one do you want to hear first?"

The boys shrugged as Luna piped up. "I do vaguely recall something about a poisoned apple. I never got the full story but I believe there were witches in it. Will you tell us that one?"

Hermione and Harry had to smile at that, as Hermione began the story. "No interrupting until I'm done or we'll never get through this."

"Once upon a time there was beautiful princess named Snow White. While she was a princess, she was made to live as a servant by her wicked witch of a step-mother, The Queen. Now the Queen was insanely jealous of Snow White's charm and beauty, as she feared that the girl would one day surpass her own looks. Every day the witch would gaze into her magic mirror and chant an incantation: Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all? And every day the mirror would reply: 'You are my Queen.'

Well the day finally arrived, when the mirror informed her that the Queen was no longer the fairest in the land. There was now one maiden in the land who surpassed the Queens beauty; her own step-daughter, Snow White. The Queen went mad with envy and she ordered the Royal Huntsman to take Snow White into the forest and kill her. As proof of his deed he was to bring back her heart in a box. But when the time came, the huntsman found he could not kill the girl, for she was much too sweet and kind to deserve such a fate. So he told her to flee and brought the Queen a pig's heart in hers' place."

After running for ages, Snow White happened upon a little cottage with child sized furniture and clothes. Thinking the residents might let her stay if she made herself useful she cleaned up and waited for them to come home. Lo and behold, they were not children, but seven little men; dwarves who lived there in that little cottage. They grudgingly agreed to let her stay as she promised to take care of them. Meanwhile, the wicked Queen had been informed by her mirror that the heart her huntsman brought back was that of a pig.

The Queen lost her mind. She brewed a potion to make herself an old hag, and then created the poisoned apple. She tracked down Snow White and when the seven little men were out lured her in pretending to be an old granny selling apples. Naïve as she was, Snow White took the bait, bit the apple, and collapsed in death. However, the woodland creatures who loved her had seen what was happening and had rushed and gotten the little men.

They got there in time to corner the witch and drive her off a cliff, but they couldn't save Snow White. Wanting her beauty to live forever, they had a golden coffin with a glass lid constructed for her and laid her in it so that the world could forever bask in her beauty. One day a handsome Prince happened by, and upon hearing the story and seeing the maiden, stated that he had to kiss such a beautiful girl. As soon as his lips touched hers, she regained her colour and came back to life; the poison had only put her in a deep sleep, only to be broken by true love's kiss. And they lived happily ever after."

To everyone's surprise, Draco piped up. "No, no Granger! You're telling it wrong!"

He got more than a few bewildered looks. "Malfoy, how on earth could you possibly know whether or not I'm telling a _Muggle_ fairy tale wrong?!"

He rolled his eyes at her. "I know, because that's not a fairy tale; that's a Malfoy family legend!"

Harry and Hermione turned their shocked gazes to each other, then back to Draco. "…_what?!_"

He shrugged. "Well the Muggles had to get their stories _somewhere_ I suppose. In any case, here's the true story. Niveus Malfoy-Latin for Snow White- was a servant in a Muggle kingdom, after being cast out by her father and step-mother. Her step-mother was jealous of her beauty and all that rubbish and she brainwashed her father against her. Granger's part about the mirror was all true so I'll skip that. So the step-mother sent the girl's father to kill her and, like the huntsman, he couldn't bear to kill her. So he sent her away and brought back a black market wand in Niveus' wand's place-which was what the step-mother had asked for as proof.

So when Niveus ran away she happened upon a village of elves, not a house of dwarves. And like Granger said, she took care of them in exchange for them letting her remain in their village. So the step-mother found out, turned herself into a hag. That potion is patented by the Malfoy family by the way, and it is the basis for the Muggle belief that witches all look like green skinned, warty hags. Anyway, so the hag went about selling glasses of pumpkin juice-not apples. So Niveus ended up drinking the pumpkin juice and falling into her eternal sleep.

The elves, were so angered by the step-mother's actions they turned her into the most gruesome thing they could think of; a giant squid. And yes, the giant squid in the Black Lake is in fact that very same step-mother.

Niveus' father showed up soon after, near blind with grief at what his daughter had been put through, and his part in it all. Seeing the father's grief-stricken state, the elves decided he deserved a second chance. Putting all their sentient elven magic together, they took Niveus back to her very beginnings. They changed her back into a newborn baby, so she could have a chance to start over, and live the life they knew she deserved.

But much as they wanted the best for her, the elves loved her so much that they could not bear to part with her. And so, they bound their magic to the tiny little girl they had all grown to love, vowing that they and their descendants would be at the service of the child and her bloodline for all eternity. And those were the humble beginnings of the first house elves."

Draco raised an eyebrow at the six slackened jaws. "What?!"

Hermione twitched. "You mean to tell me, one of my favourite childhood stories depicting true love, courage, and friendship…_is the origin story of house elves_?!"

The other four men at the table could say nothing but, "bloody hell."

Draco shrugged at them. "Why do you guys think I never went swimming in the Black Lake with you? That stupid squid recognizes the Malfoy looks from a distance, and it goes bloody crazy. It's not very bright though. I had to save Lovegood from its clutches in fifth year-covertly of course- because it saw her hair and eyes and probably though she was my sister."

Luna just smiled prettily. "Oh that was you who saved me? Thank you Draconis!"

Draco cringed as the other males snickered. "Lovegood, really. It's Malfoy; Draco if you insist but please refrain from calling me…_that_. It is reserved for embarrassing family gatherings where nobody can so much as spell the word 'informal'."

Luna smirked. "I'll consider it Draconis. However you do have something lacking in your story. The man that your Niveus Malfoy eventually went on to marry was Attonitus Lovegood. It was her half-brother by her second step-mother, the much kinder Helga Hufflepuff, who continued the Malfoy family name. So I guess I am included in your 'family-only' policy on calling you Draconis."

Draco buried his reddened face in his arms as the table's other occupants turned to face each other.

"The Malfoy…"

"…family is…"

"…descended from…"

"_**Helga Hufflepuff?!**_"

Not one person at that table managed to make it to their next class or any of their classes that day for that matter. They all had classes with Draco and no one could so much as look in his direction without bursting into peals of raucous laughter.

**AN: This is a series of minis that I will be doing at my leisure when and if I find time and inspiration. It's not something I plan to update on a regular basis as I am in the last 7 months of my post-secondary career and would finally like to get the hell out of here. Also, please note that I am aware that the fairy tales I use are not the original versions, which are a good deal more twisted and deranged. Yes, I know they exist. No, I do not plan to use them. While they are interesting in their own right, it's just a kick to my childhood every time I see one of them. Therefore I will be sticking to the more "Disney" side of things. Well now that that's over, I hope you enjoy this series for however long I keep it running. As always, please review!**


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